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True Happiness

We like to help people when we also get recognized and there is nothing wrong in it. How many times have we heard our moms complain when they are doing the house work, ‘I am the only one who does the work and no one helps me.’ It is not that she does not want to do it rather she does not get recognized for doing it. We come back from a hard day’s work and we sit and complain that, ‘I did so much work and my boss or colleague did not notice my work.’ How many times do we say such things? But aren’t we supposed to feel happy when we do work for others or when we do any kind of service.

In the armed forces there are ranks and medals given to each and every person for the work he or she does. They are taught to work as a team and to give unconditionally. There is recognition there, there is celebration, your whole family gets to see your achievements and you feel good about it. So the key point to happiness is recognition. When a kid is told what an amazing job he or she has done they feel good, they look up to their parents for recognition and when they don’t get that recognition there is disappointment. Similarly as adults we forget to recognize ourselves and our potential to do so much. That is why no matter how much money we earn, how much work we do, or how big our car or house is until someone recognizes our work we don’t feel like we have done something with ourselves and that happiness does not show in our hearts.

That feeling of contentment and fulfillment that we get when we do something for someone we all know and when it is coupled with recognition and respect it makes us feel on top of the world but on the contrary when we do something for someone and they don’t recognize our efforts we feel they owe us and we go into a negative faze. Many a times when we get recognized we still feel that the person owes us and should always be good to us and answerable to us. Don’t we all do this with our children? We are proud of them and we want to be recognized as parents. We also feel we own them and that they are supposed to be grateful to us for giving them life and raising them. But does that give us a good feeling when we behave that way towards our own children. I have heard many parents say, ‘My son or daughter does not care for me, they are so busy with their lives and so on.’ But have you sat back and thought, maybe just maybe they are doing their best and you are unable to see it that way. Off course they will be busy with their lives, they want to spread their wings and fly just like you wanted to when you were their age. Maybe we need to do the same with others. Do well to others and if they recognize the work you did, great otherwise you share it as your story with the people you know even if you were not recognized. You can make it your own story. The same story can be said in two ways. Either you can complain that I did so much and I did not get recognized or I did so much and I felt great. You can focus on what you did and get recognition from people who are listening or you can complain about it forever. That my friend, is the choice we all have. There are many times when I did not get recognized or I did not recognize people. Both ways I am human so no one is perfect. Do we feel bad, it’s ok because no one is perfect. I have learnt one thing in life.

“There is no time to waste on petty things because life is huge and we all have only one life to live.”